OVERUSED
by Iridescent Swan
Summary: Overused: a tragedy of plots.  Poking fun at overused Dramione plots, lines/descriptions, story twists etc.  :P ONESHOT


OVERUSED

On a beautiful sunny day, the Hermione Granger was having so much fun indoors with her face buried in a book reading "Hogwarts: A History" for the hundredth time.

That is, until a beautiful boy with blond hair, stormy, silver-grey eyes suddenly threw some mud at her bushy and frizzy brown hair with uncontrollable curls.

"Malfoy!" she screamed.

"Morning, Mudblood," he retorted. "I figured that since you were one, you should dress like one too."

"Grr!" she screamed. "I hate you! I hate you, you ugly git!"

Hermione Granger slammed her book then strode towards him, the hit him in the face, making him rubbing his nose and saying, "filthy Mudblood!"

This made her cry so she ran away. But then, Draco Malfoy suddenly said, "hey wait!"

"I hate you!" she said. Malfoy was now following her.

"Her-Granger, wait!"

"Why are you following me? Ah!"

Hermione Granger did not notice the old broom closet that was suddenly in front of her, and because Malfoy was now suddenly so concerned, he did not notice it either and so he fell in after her. However, due to some weird circumstance, the broom closet was now locked and a crying Granger and a confused Malfoy were stuck inside.

"What have you done!" Hermione said.

"I don't know!"

"Why are you here?"

"I don't know!"

"Stop it, Malfoy! Why are you following me?"

"Because I care!"

"Why? How could you care?"

"Because I… I…" He leaned in towards her and their lips met, then butterflies flew all over the place. "Because I love you."

Hermione kissed him back and said "I love you too." Then they kissed each other again.

Then suddenly, the door of the broom closet was miraculously opened by none other than Ron Weasley.

"What are you doing to her, Malfoy?" he screamed. He was so mad that his face got red, which clashed with his red hair.

"Ron!" a blushing Hermione cried.

"I love her!" Malfoy cried.

"How dare you?" Ron screamed. He was about to throw him a spell, but another redhead smacked him in the head. "Ginny! What was that for?"

"For love!" Ginny screamed. "They are in love! Who are you to stop them?" By now, Ginevra Weasley was also red, and due to her madness and her hair's redness, it looked like she was on fire.

"I love Hermione!" Ron screamed. "And this git won't get away with this!"

"You cheated on me, Ron!" Hermione retorted. She cuddled closer to the muscular arms of the albino. "You snogged Lavender Brown!"

"I was wrong, Hermione! I was wrong!" Ron dramatically said.

"Exactly! I love Hermione! Nothing will separate us!"

"What is the commotion here?" A jet-black haired boy with emerald green eyes suddenly interrupted because the author told him to.

"I love her!" Draco exclaimed.

"I love him!" Hermione exclaimed. They kissed again under the moonlit sky with a thousand stars because the sunny day suddenly became nighttime.

"What is all this?" Lucius Malfoy suddenly barged in. "Why are you snogging a Mudblood, my son? You have disgraced the family Malfoy! Avada—Ouch!"

"Lucius!" The beautiful Narcissa Malfoy suddenly said. "They are in love!"

"I don't care! Avada— Ouch! You Weasley-Girl! You dare to hit me?"

"I'm not afraid!" Ginny retorted.

"Wait, you're supposed to be in Azkaban," randomly said Harry.

"If I can't have Hermione, no one can!" Ron said, because the plot was not as cliché as the author originally planned it to be.

Suddenly, Ron Weasley and Lucius Malfoy thought as one and said "Avada Kedavra!" at the same time.

"No! My love!" cried Draco, who shielded Hermione.

Draco's beautiful, muscular body slumped lifeless to the ground.

"No! My love!" cried a crying Hermione.

"Lucius! How dare you kill our son? Avada Kedavra!" And with that, Malfoy Senior also slumped lifeless to the ground.

Since that was over, Hermione collected herself and said, "Ron! You killed my love! Avada Kedavra!"

"Hermione, no!" Because of the unswerving loyalty of the Boy-Who-Lived, he shielded his beloved brother and so he died instead.

Hermione gasped. "Oh no! Harry! I didn't mean to! What have I done?"

"Hermione! You killed Harry! Avada Kedavra!" cried Ginny.

"Hermione, my love!" Ron shielded Hermione and so he died.

"Ginny! What have you done? Now they're all dead!"

"Not really," Narcissa broke in. "I'm still alive. Wait, what is that mysterious ticking noise?"

Ronald Weasley suddenly woke up and said, "I found the source of the ticking! It's a pipe bomb!"

Harry and Hermione, out of their craziness and the hyperness of the author, suddenly said "yey!"

Then the whole world exploded. Not really. Just Hogwarts.

FIN

"Wait!" said a raspy, snakelike voice. "I haven't done my solo yet!"-cough-"ahem"-cough.

The Lord Voldemort suddenly went up out of the remains of the school with his flat nose and red, snakelike eyes.

"Wait!" suddenly interrupted a voice. "We're still alive!" said a naked Dumbledore. "What did we miss?"

"Uh oh," the greasy Snape commented.

"Avada Kedavra!" Snape and Dumbledore died.

"Now, I may do my solo in peace. Servant! Come out here," he said. A scribe suddenly went up out of the remains of Hogwarts. "According to the script, you go first."

The servant said,

"a glooming peace this morning with it brings.

The sun for sorrow will not show his head.

Go hence to have more talk of these sad things.

Some shall be pardoned, and some punished. Well not really, as they're all dead. But moving on,

For never was a story of more woe

Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

"Wait, what? Sorry pal, wrong movie. Avada Kedavra!"Lord Voldemort shouted.

"My solo!" He cleared his throat and said, "I HAVE THE POWER!"

He started tapping his wand to some wood. "Voldemort, Voldemort, ooh Voldie Voldie Voldie Voldemort."

THE END.


End file.
